Saturday, April 21, 2012

Teen In Trouble

Hi.
I have a very serious problem.My dad is seeing another woman and he thinks i dont know but i do and so does my mom.She is very upset and my parents are starting to fight on a slightest excuse now. My mom is out of town right now and i even saw dad well dressed ,locking his room door at midnight but as soon as he saw me looking ,he pretended as if he had come out of his room for a drink . I am so worried . Is it ok to keep an eye on him or spy on him or should i just talk to him about it?Plz help,i need it.thanks


waiting anxiously
teen in trouble


....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................


Dear Teen in Trouble


I pondered for a while as to whether or not I would tackle this subject or not due to the sensitive nature - It's not something I'd like to joke about because there are some serious emotions that can come into play.


But what I can do is give my advice to the best of my ability.


I often wonder myself where "cheaters" find the time to do what they do  - I have trouble keeping up with one and could never dream of over complicating life with more than one partner.


But sometimes, for some people, things just happen - they meet someone else at a time where they feel as though they're missing something in the relationship that they already have ( I actually have a new unpublished blog that goes into this subject - check back soon ) and then, one thing leads to another, and then the flame / the excitement  of that first encounter becomes addictive, that "thing" that was missing becomes all important - the cheater needs more and so on and so on.


I think that If you have a relationship with your Dad where you can sit down and talk to him - then do so, but stay calm, don't get angry and be civil. You don't know what his feelings are or why he's doing it. He'll probably deny it or brush it off so expect that but at least he'll know the cat is out of the bag if he's guilty.


The other option I can suggest is only if you know the "other woman" well enough to speak to her about it. With her knowing that your Dads family ( You and your Mom ) know, then there is a good chance that it will put pressure on the affair and make her think twice about continuing.


However with the above two scenarios I would suggest that you should be completely 100% sure before making any serious accusations.


In a nutshell there two ultimate endings ( that I can think of ) that you will have to prepare yourself for and that is either your Mother forgives your Dad, your Dad stops cheating, they work things out and stay together.


or


They unfortunately go their separate ways - This sounds like a bad thing, and while it's not nice to think about it, it could be one of the only things that helps both of your parents move on and be happy. If this is the case they may even learn to be better friends than spouses. But that would of course take time.


Whatever may come of the situation be sure to stay strong and understand that there are two sides to the story, don't jump to any conclusions and understand that the issue is not your fault and shouldn't really be up to you fix it. Good communication is the best bet to help you understand and carry on - and I'm guessing that as a teen you have your own "shit" to deal with anyway so don't let it consume you too much and let it get in the way of your education and your own relationships.


Take care and stay strong :)


Aunty Sam

1 comment:

  1. Wow. What a difficult letter to handle! I don't envy you. I'd probably stay away from whomever the dad is seeing. Who knows how she'll react. I guess if it were me, I'd explain what I saw and then ask what was going on. It would be tough to do but, you're right, communication is key. I wish the letter writer luck.

    ReplyDelete